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Monthly Archives: November 2006

Mina

“I didn’t think private investigators had cars like this,” says Mina. His receptionist is driving; they face each other in the back.

“The locked-room mystery,” Inspector Dracula muses, “is so important to fiction, and so rare in reality, that we must consider this scenario a deliberate recreation. The first detective story, by Poe, or Conan Doyle’s ‘Speckled Band…’ Carr’s The Hollow Man has perhaps the definitive overview, and indeed some of those conceits are more plausible than the book itself.”

“Which one involves the air vent?” asks Mina tartly.

“Oh, never mind that,” says Dracula, “your ‘guard’ has a twin.”

Barlowe

Barlowe smells something good and immediately finds himself vomiting. It’s not a twisting, retching sort of vomit; as with the wall, he can no longer feel any strain on his muscles. His body is simply filling his mouth with bile.

The smell leads him to a blood-slick pit of his fellows, frothing, groaning and gnawing at shards of skull. Barlowe puts down a finger and wipes a bit of gray matter off someone else’s uncaring shoulder. He’s very hungry. He puts it in his acid mouth.

A bit rich, he decides, and resolves to look around for a cheese shop.