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Daily Archives: April 29th, 2009

Leonard Richardson

“Think,” says Leonard Richardson, “of anything but treason.”

Think of pink elephants! Think of your shoes. Think of your first kiss or the smell of mildew or the masturbation joke from college that gave you the hiccups–

You didn’t, did you? You thought about treason.

“Excellent!” says Leonard Richardson. “Don’t think of arson, or abduction, or fratricide.”

Go ahead. Picture your stolen baby brother on fire, you imbecile.

“Any questions?”

Don’t ask aloud. Just wonder, silently, if you’re going to prison.

“Ah no,” smiles Leonard Richardson, as your brainmap spills on tickertape through his hands. “We’re going to set you free.”