On Tuesday they turn off Wall Street. The end! Badass traders like Jethro have to get Main Street jobs instead.

“Twenty bucks says I’m the fastest stockboy here,” smirks Jethro.

His new coworkers laugh, then stock. Jethro checks his Blackberry.

“Pay up!”

“One sec,” says Jethro, “I bet Enoch ten grand I’d lose that bet.”

“What?”

“Just expressing my view of the market.”

“I don’t have any money,” shrugs Enoch.

“Whoops, that bet was too big!” Jethro tells their boss. “Front me eight Gs?”

The boss fires him via mouth-punch.

“Why did you do that?” cries Jethro. “That was mean!”