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Daily Archives: November 29th, 2010

Barry

It’s not that Barry minds Lara hosting a reunion party for her ex-boyfriends, exactly, nor that he’s not invited. It’s just that her decision to cater it herself is putting a strain on their kitchen.

“And you’re literally making them breakfast?” he says. “Isn’t that a little suggestive?”

“Don’t delay me!” she says. “I’ve got to make four hundred muffins!”

Barry divides that by about three muffins per person and comes up with a worried number. But it’s preferable to an intimate gathering, right? Barry takes another crack at her Evite password (“Barry?”) (nope) just to see if they’re bringing plus-ones.

A Catalog of Acts of Rebellion

  • Replaced toilet paper with end toward the wall
  • Stole three Now and Laters and ate them all
  • Spiced soup with white pepper instead of the black
  • Pushed on the plaster to widen a crack
  • Made bed with edge insufficiently neat
  • Fed a stray cat with the scraps of the meat
  • Gathered and squeezed the shards of a glass
  • Seasoned a word with deliberate sass
  • Met eyes with a man in the sun at the park
  • Had lighter in pocket while locked in the dark
  • Refused to look down again after the blow
  • Wrote down this list
  • So that someone would know