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Daily Archives: May 12th, 2011

Interspecies Diplomacy

Stephen Heintz forgot to title this story

“A magic talking monkey! Incredible!”

It sighed. “As I’ve said several times now: I’m a chimpanzee.”

The human was bouncing with excitement. “Who cares? You’re magic!”

“I care? Chimps are smarter, we don’t have tails… It’s a pretty big difference.” The chimpanzee rolled its eyes.

“Can you grant wishes?”

“Sure, lots of ‘em. To people who don’t call me a monkey.”

The human stomped his foot. “So that’s it? I don’t get wishes?”

“That’s right.”

“You’re an asshole!”

“No, I’m a chimpanzee.”

The human reached for his machete. I can probably get a few wishes out of that paw, he thought.