Dear Profoctor Davey,

reads the letter,

I keep having bad dreams they are all about our pool in the back yard and I fall in like my sister did and never get out. Every time I smell the laundry room I think about her and cry and cry. Why did it happen? Dougan from Topeka, age 9.

“Well, Dougan, I bet what you’re smelling is the element chlorine,” says Profoctor Davey brightly. “Let’s ask my buddy Bongo McTweedlepants to explain some more! Bongo?”

“The hell we need puppets on a goddamn radio show anyway,” mutters Bongo. “What? Oh, are we live?”