Grumpy Tim Coe pulls the magnet off the vacuum jar, and within, the hammer and the feather hit the floor together.

“Clearly,” explains a scientist, “the absence of air makes the feather want to fall.”

Another scientist frowns. “What if it’s an aetheric issue? If we should replace the feather with a hollow sphere–”

“Not possible,” clucks the third scientist. “You clearly have no background in animistic suicides.”

“But–”

“No need to be ashamed!” chuckles the fourth scientist. “Some people are smarter than others.”

Grumpy Tim Coe puts the magnet on the jar again, but the feather won’t come back up.