“No,” says Cassie, “I’m keeping it. I still want to teach–I’d rather not be Professor Stoner.”

They share a laugh, and Clara thinks it’s going fine when she says “Well, you could hyphenate them, then you’d be–”

And freezes. Cassie’s last name. She can’t remember it. Every microsecond she spends panicking makes this more obvious, which makes her panic harder. She desperately wants an out, a blatantly dumb one-liner like you’d hear in a movie directed by Bob Saget. Bob Saget in a canvas chair, wearing glasses, honestly, who’s he think he’s kidding?

“Penrose-Stoner!” she gasps, saved by distraction.