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See Me

“Aren’t you a little short for the Born Breathing?”

“What?” blinks the man wearing the death’s head. “Oh! The armor.” He pulls it off and offers a naif’s grin. “I’m See Me! I’m here to rescue you!”

“Is that really your name?” says the Princess Leaves.

“I’ve got your cogwork slave. I’m here with Ratio Tile.”

“Ratio Tile is here?” she says sharply.

“And the Wish Power is with him,” says a man in a darker death’s head, far above.

“Then he must not be allowed to escape,” says Government Cat.

“Escape is not his plan,” says Reaching the West Reaches.

The First Week

On the first day, God created man out of papier-mache, then dissolved him in water.

On the second day, God created man out of cheese and ate him.

On the third day, God created man out of other, smaller men, but they all ran away.

On the fourth day God created man out of disappearing ink.

On the fifth day God created man out of Lego.

On the sixth day God created man out of clay and then forgot to smoosh him up, and oh boy, you should have seen Its face when It got back to work on Monday.

They Shall Breathe Ashes

Legend has it that They Shall Breathe Ashes, the famous assassin, first killed at the age of nine. She was wearing a starched dress and carrying a straight razor. There was no blood on her shoes.

The first time Shelby killed anyone was at twelve, and it was a messy, desperate affair. Shelby held the lid of a toilet tank against the target’s throat until he had yellow showing through the bruises. They were both mostly naked. One of them left a fingernail on the floor.

The thing They Shall Breathe Ashes knows, and Shelby doesn’t, is how to create a legend.

Death

Eventually this guy from the original team gets Death to let him bring Deep Blue to a chess match. He wins. People rage about the technocracy and preferential treatment, etcetera, but it turns out you can beat him with a MacBook running Rybka.

In fact, most of the the time all you need is one of those hand-cranked laptops, and soon deathless child armies rule the third world. They march the old warlords off to candy factories; the diamond business collapses. It’s a strange kind of paradise.

Death buys his own laptop but he can’t get the touchpad to work.

Madigan

Madigan basically expected, throughout her career in tech theatre, to end up in the CIA.

There is this about a safe house: it must feel safe. It needs dressing like any set; even the new ones need to have their corners knocked and book spines broken. It’s not just to blend away from enemy eyes. It’s to give agents and those in protective custody the feeling that people have been here; people have lived here; people have lived.

Madigan stayed in one in Madrid, quietly and against regulations, for a vacation week. The art on the walls was all children’s collage.

Proserpina

This is school: Latin and Greek, deportment and dressage, the lineage of the House of Wettin. They learn to waltz with each other and how to address a Duchess. They learn which fork to use.

Proserpina and Radiane sneak out in boys’ clothes to watch the fights, and Proserpina vomits the first time she sees a man’s blood drooling through his mustaches. Radiane doesn’t. They go again and again, and on the nighttime walk back they talk out every step. Did you see his feet, they say. Did you see how he fell apart as soon as he touched the ropes?

Koma

Koma’s been on the front for a month now. He doesn’t know the names of half the men in his platoon: they’re all new, and after two weeks, the new ones started looking all alike.

Most days he lies in his rabbithole and thinks about his mother and Megeet, back on the Free Island, saving their tin cans. Will they recognize him when he comes home? Or will his gaunt face and military trim be too strange?

He wishes, sometimes and treasonously, that his ears had never been cropped: that they could hang long, over his shoulders, just like a Continental.

The Justin

Muddy, exhausted, scared, hungry and alone: the Justin was perhaps feeling an appropriate amount of self-pity. He didn’t even have his boat anymore. Also, he was technically dead.

He sat on a sandbar a little ways from the shore, and tears ran salty in his mouth.

The Nile rose to lap at his sandals, then the seat of his jeans, his waist. The sandbar submerged itself. The Justin heard a soft sound: the current rippling, dividing around the ankles of a man behind him.

“Well,” said the man wryly, “cry me a river.”

“Ptah!”

They embraced like water and sand.

The smartest man in the world

The President takes one parachute, the smartest man in the world another, and the Pope offers the third to the little boy. “No need,” chuckles the boy, “the smartest man in the world took my backpack!”

The smartest man in the world is working fast, using his body to shield the backpack as he converts it to a crude jet-glider. The President’s bottle of Jack has enough potential energy in it to counter his velocity, if he can direct it properly–spark from his watch battery, paper fuse, hope.

He can do it.

He’s the smartest man in the world.

Smith

Eventually, thanks to stubborn tradition and globalization, everybody’s family name is either Li or Smith. There are some people in San Francisco named Smith-Li but nobody likes them.

Smith men only want to marry Li women and so goes the reverse, which means that while percentages fluctuate, they stay at about fifty-fifty for the next twelve thousand years.

Then one day, Smith Nakhit pings the downtown courthouse construct and demands to change her name–not to Li, not even to the apocryphal Smith-Li, but to Jones.

And it totally catches on! Everybody’s named Jones now! So that’s good.