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Mina

“Power of attorney,” says Inspector Dracula, in the car.

“Lucy emancipated at sixteen,” says Mina shortly. “Her family is… well, put simply, I’m the only one she trusts. And I am the only one who’d go this far to find her.”

“I doubt that, but let us not needlessly multiply entities. You have added new strands to the web, new vertices; I must consider…” He frowns to himself, then sighs. “Forgive me. I forget the lateness of the hour. We will take you home.”

“No more urgent matters tonight?”

“No,” he says, “the men ransacking your apartment will have finished now.”

Antoine

Antoine shakes the milk. “I wouldn’t,” Donyelle says.

“It was in the fridge.”

“Who knows how long the brownouts lasted around here?” she points out. “Just pour water on your cereal.”

“Ugh, tried that when I was a kid. Better to eat it dry, drink the water. Which is weird.” He rummages through the pantry. “No cans.”

“I doubt gated community families planned for…” Donyelle glances out the window. The dead are still shuffling by in perfect hexagons. She shivers.

“Hey, a weather radio! Battery-powered!” Antoine fiddles; the little woodgrain box crackles and spits.

“Great,” mutters Donyelle, “very Silent Hill.”

Brendan

Brendan and Stephen ignite their jetpacks and blast away from the plummeting, burning aircraft carrier.

“Burn hard!” snaps Stephen. “If we don’t break every speed record known to man, we’ll be too late to save President McDonnell!”

“And her orphan puppy farm,” agrees Brendan grimly. “Endangered orphan puppy. N-nuns.”

Stephen sighs. “Okay, just–cut it.”

The sky flickers to flat green; winches lower them to the floor. “Look, I’m no good at action improv!” says Brendan, unbuckling his harness.

“Well,” says Stephen reluctantly, “there’s always action romance improv.”

Brendan grabs him and dips him low. “Now you’re talkin’,” he breathes.

Rilo

It is, unfortunately, laundry day again; tomorrow Riley will be improvising socks out of newsprint. He sighs, fills the mesh bag to bursting, and girds himself for battle.

Except he doesn’t literally gird himself because he’s been commando for a week.

“Hi, Ceely,” he says as he backs through the door.

“Oh my God!” says Ceely, delighted. “We’re always here at the same time!”

“Weird,” says Rilo, who’s seen her staking the place out for weeks.

“You are so stalking me.”

“Everybody does laundry,” mutters Rilo, jamming whites into reds with one foot.

“Hey,” says Ceely, “seen your cat this week?”

Colleen

“I can’t believe it’s not Buddha,” says Colleen.

The Buddha,” says Bligh, “it’s a title, you extremely white person.”

“Sorry.”

They watch for a while.

“But no,” Bligh mutters, “the real Buddha is probably not filled with robot bears.”

They’re not big bears, but there are dozens of them climbing out of the bronze Vairocana’s mouth, and they’ve got buzzsaws. They can’t climb; Colleen and Bligh are safe clinging to the pagoda ledge. Most of the other tourists are already dismembered. The bears are aligning their limbs in patterns.

“Think it means something?” Colleen squints.

“It’s kanji,” says Bligh. “For assholes.

Mina

“You know perfectly well the nature of doctor-patient privilege, Vlad,” says Van Helsing. “But–”

“I have her power of attorney since she was declared missing,” says Mina. “Go ahead, doctor.”

Dracula looks at her sharply, then back to Van Helsing. “I would not want to compromise your professional ethics, Abraham.”

Van Helsing sighs. “It’s Ms. Murray’s discretion. In here, please.”

He gestures them into a file room and rummages through drawers. “Polycythemia vera,” he says, “a chronic condition. Simply put, the young lady produces too many erythrocytes; circulation is slowed, bruises come easily. Treatment of choice is–”

“Bleeding,” says Dracula.

Gabriel

And on the eighth day, monkeys (who, finding themselves well-equipped, simply climbed the firmament) get into everything: the cloud inflater, the island wheel, the seraphs’ eye irrigator. The atmosphere gets pumped with nitrogen; the Big Kite becomes a Dipper. They never determine what happened in the glacier press, but it takes two millennia to clean.

“And we haven’t had a minute to watch the garden,” Gabriel fusses to his boss. “Have You considered what they might be getting into? I mean, why did You derive Your chosen stewards from these?

“这是无稽之谈,” his boss replies.

“Oh,” says Gabriel. “That makes sense.”

South

“HBO,” says South, finally.

“No,” says Bailey.

“They’d take us,” he says. “Bigger budget, more time, no commercials and we’d actually air–”

“You watched Six Feet Under.

South blinks. “Yeah.”

“A broke actor, paying for HBO?”

South flushes. “I downloaded it.”

“You remember that shot at the end.” Bailey leans forward. “When Nate drops out of Claire’s side mirror.”

“Of course–”

“I paid to watch it,” says Bailey. “You broke the law for it. It should have aired for free, South, for everyone with a television set. It should have been projected on buildings. It should have lit up the sky.”

Phyllis

She fought the law; the fight won, and after a while she and the law find themselves sheltering together behind a table as bottles smash around them.

“Who’s in the middle of that?” asks the law, wincing.

“I think it’s gone self-sustaining,” says Phyllis.

The law pulls its hat lower. “This is all your fault.”

“Of course,” she says bitterly, “the problem is always with the people, never with the legislation. Which is, need I remind you, made by people! Why do we pretend to have moved past an infallible ruling class when–”

The law snores gently. Phyllis smacks it.

Sylph

Seven years ago Sylph was dead. Presently, Sylph remains dead, but more politically active.

“Because our voices deserve to be heard!” thunders Sylph’s mom into the microphone. “Because it’s time we stopped electing people with their own ideas and motives. Time we stopped letting special interests play on the desires of our representatives!”

She takes her daughter’s hand, in forceps, and raises it to the sky.

“My daughter was robbed of her voice,” she says. “Don’t let politicians continue to rob us of ours! Vote Sylph! Vote for change!

The crows bellows agreement. Sylph lists over a bit to the left.