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Quantum Fox Gets The Pox, A Novella

aid so,” murmurs the doctor. “Almost wiped it out back in the twentieth, but the resistant strains are making a comeback. We can try the standard treatment, or…” She flips through a chart. “You might get into this experimental trial…”

“Really?” Sardonic hope flares in the eyes of the man in the paper gown. On others, that gown would look flimsy and degrading–yet on him, it becomes a subtle statement, an inverse cape. Only he knows the syphilis test results were faked. Only he knows his reasons for angling into the drug trial. He is, after all, QUANTUM FOX, AGEN

Eddy

Eddy made a lot of money this year and he’s going to make more. He can see a structure to things, now: people, institutions, certain days. All he has to do is walk up and hold out his hands.

The tailbrain’s paid for itself a dozen times over, and it wasn’t cheap. Eddy buys clean yellow Peruvian, keeps a string of boys, eats real horse steak. He can even afford the icy wash that wrings his muscles clean every morning.

Eddy doesn’t know how to ask his tailbrain what his body does at night, but even if he did, he wouldn’t.

O’Connell

“Tiger Style!” snaps Master Whung. His acolytes wield bamboo brushes and mousse, shaping an elegant, low-maintenance look that shows off his highlights. Master Whung’s style will retain bounce and body even after a hard day!

Master O’Connell chuckles. “Mantis Style!” His assistants whirl like leaves on the wind, leaving the Master with a daring ‘do that will have all eyes on him–a waxed, glossy heavy hold!

The two men size each other up. Suddenly, Master Whung leaps forward, drawing twin butterfly combs. Master O’Connell punches him in the neck, and he dies.

Listen, you don’t fuck with Mantis Style.

Dot

Dot’s been collecting thumbs a long time, and few doors in the Answer remain barred to her. She picks one from around her wrist, warms it in her hands and presses it to the little pad: the soft eldritch click makes her grin. Through the door and she’s among the huge black sarcophagi, padding toward the center.

There’s a single pane of perfect glass there. Dot breathes mist on it and quickly traces the mystic cat’s-eye symbol, the one in the zero, the I and O.

Light suffuses the glass. Around her, the tombs of the ancients hum to life.

Jelly

Jelly treads slush, keeping her head up, flippers sliding off stacks of inkjet waste. She grabs something from waist level: “Quantum Fox Gets The Pox, A Novella.” She flips through the first couple pages.

“Does it ever occur to you,” says Douglas, bobbing nearby, “that whatever we toss away is just going to float back to us?”

“Not if we keep going deeper,” says Jelly.

JJ surfaces, right on cue, blowing paper dust from his snorkel. “Got it!” he gasps, waving a battered manuscript. “I found one, guys, I found a ten-pager that’s almost worthwhile!” Then a shark eats him.

Alberta

“It’s going through your head,” says her mother, like maybe she missed that.

“Brain piercing is perfectly safe,” says Alberta. “I went and got it done at a licensed clinic, okay? Not some stand at the mall. I can show you a copy of the certificate–”

“You look like a damn–a damn Stooge Brothers joke!”

“Who?”

“I am taking you back there tomorrow,” sobs her mother, “and we are getting that taken–don’t roll your eyes at me!”

But Alberta is rolling them, so far that her pupils disappear.

“Alberta?” says her mother.

Foam starts to leak from Alberta’s mouth.

The Car

You need the car, first, some kind of dark green body with purple racing stripes, and the suggestion of snakeskin. Maybe snakeskin seats. Do they make those? Regardless, it’s a big flat boat and it probably steers with those fins. Convertible.

Next you need the passenger, channeling Dave Abbruzzese with one hand, playing wind tunnel with the other.

And then the driver: wearing Ray-Bans and shake the haters, faded blue alligator polo, one hand at twelve on the wheel. Her other hand’s out the window too, back near the handle, like maybe any minute she’s going to open the door.

Caradog

Caradog wakes in horror, and a grimy toilet stall, and the cold knowledge that he doesn’t know his own first name. But here–on his hand–sweaty blue pen: AK 89TH W.3

That’s the key, he knows it. Caradog lunges out into the bathroom and sees someone–there’s no time for trust! He smashes the surprised man’s head into a sink, then grabs his face and shoves him back into the stall.

Some time later, Pensieve wakes. Where is he? Who is he? He stumbles out of the stall and–there, in the mirror, blue pen backwards on his cheek–

South

JONAH
Because I was in a dark place,
and I begged to be freed.

STAR
And you were answered?

JONAH
No.

INT. SIMILAR ROOM – NIGHT

We get a flicker of JONAH in a similar room, younger and clean-shaven, slightly to the right of where he’s sitting now.

JONAH (V.O.)
I cut

INT. STAR’S OFFICE AGAIN – NIGHT

JONAH
my way out.

STAR
Rough on the whale.

Long beat.

JONAH
Not as rough as remembering
this line.

“South!” says Rebecca.

“Bngah!” says South, gripping his head. “‘Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying–‘

“Blooper reel, hour six,” she mutters.

“South!” says Sejal. “Don’t muss your hair.”

Kit

Saturday mornings Kit goes to the home to put half his flowers in a vase for his mother, who is still asleep. He needs the rest of the day for practice.

First he goes out to a vacant lot in the industrial park and stands in the middle, and rails at the sky. He tries to make deals. He begs kneeling.

Next he goes home for lunch, which is a casserole he made himself, and pretended to find.

Of the three town funeral homes, at least one is always occupied. He sits in back. He leaves the rest of his flowers.