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Mustardseed

Hilda and Simeon put a piece of cardboard over the first drive-thru window and boink in the back of the Burger King. The scent of hot oil nearby lends excitement; their vigor pops the change drawer open. The manager notices, but he’s currently at the front counter, beatifically pooping his pants.

Out in the restaurant proper, the customers are following one suit or the other, except the lady who’s called up her mother to explicate twenty years of resentment.

At the counter, Titania puts face to hands. “I just wanted a stupid Whopper Junior,” she groans.

“No you didn’t,” says Mustardseed.

Zach

Zach is only just off morphine when they deport him.

In a fugue and handcuffs, he nods in response to dour questions in Hungarian. He spends sixteen hours in a cell, touching the bandages lightly. He thinks about Sara.

On the plane, the Vulpine Phalanger sits down next to him.

“Oh,” he says.

“Hey,” she says. He’s never seen her in civilian clothes; she seems younger. “I know a little about scars. Want me to take a look?”

He shrugs.

She peels back the gauze, and she is kind. She purses her lips.

“Those,” she says, “are going to look badass.”

Crucible

They have been wandering the subterranean tunnels for two days now, scrawling crude grid-maps that always turn out wrong. Black Dougal complains about the iron rations, and Silverleaf is gaunt from lack of daylight. Slagjor’s body lies under a crude cairn two levels up. Even Crucible is beginning to tire.

“Let us click the key fob again,” intones Silverleaf.

“I already tried it in this area,” says Black Dougal. “And what if its battery runs out?”

“It shall not be.”

“It might!”

Crucible scans the empty rows of parking spaces, clockwork heart sinking, wishing he’d just written the damn number down.

Things You Can Get at the Sniffly Oddjob

  • Good brandy
  • Bad cocktails
  • Worse headaches
  • A tooth pulled
  • The clap

It’s not a place nonlocals go on purpose and if you’re there you probably took a bad turn. This isn’t to say it’s a dive: the interior’s brass and mahogany, and nobody gets peanuts on the floor. But don’t use the bathroom. And for heaven’s sake don’t ask about food.

Though the true origins of its signage are lost to mercy, a sex act of dubious provenance has since borrowed the name. You can’t get a sniffly oddjob in the Sniffly Oddjob. It’s too hard to find model airplane glue.

Ashlock

Phosporescent hexadecimal scrolls through Ashlock’s dreams.

When she wakes, the chronometer pulses 3:44. Cold water on her face, her boots, her jacket. She’s out pacing the mist-wreathed docks by a sliver of moon.

Nobody nice is out at this hour, but they don’t hassle Ashlock (she does kung fu). Down a wharf, she kicks splinters into jetsam.

This was an easy job: they should have come out with cash, not data. They’re lazy sometimes, arrogant, but not stupid.

Somebody dumbed it up for them.

Styrofoam hunks bob around the pylon, striped with broken barcodes. Hexadecimal teases Ashlock, just out of reach.

Zoe

Zoe’s got the graveyard watch, which means the rest of them should be sleeping. Malcolm comes to check on her anyway.

“Any movement?”

“Some to the northwest, around four,” she says. “Sentry guns didn’t have too much trouble.” She hands him the field glasses; through them, faint protrusions resolve into zombie limbs chewed by chaingun.

Malcolm peers at gray flesh, black blood. “You’ve been skipping rations, Zo.”

“I’m fine. The kid can use a little extra.”

“You need to eat. Keep your strength up. One day the guns may not hold.”

“I’ll eat,” Zoe says with grim relish, “when I’m dead.”

Zach

Everything is hot and slippery. Zach’s eyes sting. This is a stupid thing to notice.

Unsilenced gunshots have done what their screaming couldn’t, and summoned the cavalry. The doctors and techs and security guy look scared, but they’re working fast. It’s okay, Zach wants to tell them. The bad man’s gone.

Sarah’s trying to control the situation even as they haul her off to surgery; that’s what Sarah does. The little girl is crying. They’ve injected his face and it’s all rubbery, but as they wheel him out Zach touches her shoulder.

“Zach,” he mumbles.

“Mirna,” she manages.

Fade to white.

Jennifer

“Who can name the central conflict of the story?” asks Ms. Celotte. “Anyone? No? Jennifer?”

Jennifer Goggles pulls a string on her robot without looking up. “MAN VERSUS MAN,” it wheezes.

“Jennifer,” the teacher warns.

“Isn’t that the right answer?” Jennifer frowns, popping the robot’s back hatch. “I was careful with the soldering–”

“That’s not the point!”

“SYLLEPSIS,” says the robot.

“No offense, Ma’am,” says Jennifer, “but I’m only here because they wouldn’t let me register for four periods of metal shop.” Classmates mutter.

“A balanced education requires–”

“BLITHERING INANITY.”

Ms. Celotte fumes.

“See,” beams Jennifer, “I knew he was working.”

Manchego

Rumors about the Spaniard propagate through the juice bar: he’s a new trainer at the gym–no!–he’s shooting a pilot in town. Or he’s Tricia’s sugar daddy, exposed at last. Someone heard he’s a black belt. Is that really his hair? Well then whose is it?

Art draws the short straw and brings out his order; he pays in dollar coins and, says Art, is redolent of Gold Bond. The girls demand he grab a cell-phone shot of his tightpants areas. They crowd the edge of the swinging door, trying to read his mind.

Yo soy… Manchego, thinks Manchego.

Ashlock

Tach’s iPod is smoking.

“It looks,” says their fence Celesque dryly, “a little too hot for me to move.”

“Hey, nobody’s coming after this one,” says Ashlock, which is technically true. “Just put out some feelers or whatever.”

“There are practically feelers coming out of that thing already,” says Celesque.

“It’s good math. Powerful. It’ll sell.”

“Then sell it yourself, sweetie.” Celesque shrugs. “I’m not touching it. If that’s what I think it is, do yourself a favor. Hit it with a hammer, toss it in a lake.”

But information, Ashlock knows to her dismay, can be neither created nor destroyed.