Satan’s new nametag says SATIN.

“It was probably one of those accidentally-on-purpose typos,” says Aaron. “He doesn’t want people coming into the store and thinking you’re some…”

“If he was going to do that,” says Satan, “why wouldn’t he just go with ‘Stan?'”

“I like it,” says Rosaline, through quesadilla. “Sort of a cool drag vibe.”

“Rosaline,” says Aaron with great concern, “no one ever says ‘vibe.'”

Rosaline defies him by stuffing more quesadilla into her face. They’re all sick of the quesadilla, but it’s so cheap and so good, and where else are they going to hang out?

“I should mention that Lord Vandernoot was not only my uncle… but indeed my father,” hisses Tania.

“Mine as well!” says Eurynome. “And what’s more, I am left-handed!”

“Really?” says Inspector Handsome, eyes alight.

“There’s just one thing you’ve forgotten!” shrills Mr. Spurlock, heaving up off the divan. “I’m ambidextrous, and I’m the only one who needed the money!”

“Please, Donny, we’re all mortgaged to the hilt,” says Tania.

“Fascinating,” says Inspector Handsome. “The only thing we haven’t considered is–”

“Look it is obviously me just GET OUT THE CUFFS ALREADY,” gasps the butler, erection wild in his shiny pants.

“Ecce picturo,” says Arrete, flicking her bored wand at the window. The view changes to a rainforest, a desert, the Pentagon, Mars.

“I don’t know why you can’t use real Latin,” grumbles Verona.

“It wouldn’t work,” says Arrete. “Obvs.”

Verona deliberately gives her a slow, bovine blink.

“Words are just the focus. Pseudolatin has connotations of privilege and archaic mystery to most English-speakers. It puts your brain in the right place for magic.”

“It could just as easily be Pseudoswahili?”

“Not to me.”

“But magic’s more than the sum of your cultural baggage!”

Arrete gives her a slow, bovine blink.