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Jamal

“We’ve been looking for you.”

Jamal spins around, frantically trying to click browser tabs closed with one hand. “I’m technically on my lunch break–”

“You know perfectly well that doesn’t matter,” says the lady in the suit.

“We’ve been on your trail for years,” grins the man in the other suit. “Ever since you started playing Nintendo on a sick day in ’97. Then the Small Soda To Go incident, and all those CDs you ripped before you sold them…”

“Who are you?” says Jamal, heart wide, eyes pounding.

“Rules Police,” smirks the lady. “And it’s finally Time Out for you.”

Ondine

Ondine hasn’t read a page in three years, can’t watch television, can’t daydream. Can’t dream at all, actually. She sleeps in the clutches of the ventilator only when exhausted: it’s always fitful, never deep.

How often do you think about breathing? Music actually helps, she’s found, as long as the bass is regular and strong. It’s when anything takes her out of her head that she has to be careful.

They say it’s genetic but she knows that’s wrong. Curses are a toxic byproduct. She found love, lost it, realized too late; now she has to will her heart to beat.

Craig

“Have you been down to the crypt yet?” mutters Craig.

“Shh.”

“Amen,” the congregation intones.

“I mean it,” Craig persists. “It’s something you need to see for yourself. The old inscriptions show men who clothed their torsos, who wore caps with the bill forward–”

“How can you even speak of such things?” Wentzle hisses. “We’re in the house of Dog!”

“We haven’t always ruled Santa Monica,” says Craig, jaw stiff.

Around them, Z-Boys drop their decks with a clatter, then stoop to kneel. Up on the altar, the Hawk crosses his arms: the sign of the Double Pits to Chesty.

Zach

István leaves to go to the bathroom and Hidebound kills Pál with a knife. It’s that quick, so Zach is still staring at the blood and wondering if this is a prank when two scarred fingers drag him by the nostrils out of the safehouse.

“Ow fuck!” says Zach. Upon consideration, he adds: “Shit!”

“Whatever puppydog pity she took on you, be grateful for it,” says Hidebound, “because it’s the only thing keeping my fist out of your brains right now. How does it feel to be a hostage, Zach?”

Like so many things in Budapest, Zach reflects glumly, it hurts.

Silhouine

Silhouine and Dulap and their fellows cheer on the fire, while around them burghers cower behind blackout curtains. It’s some time before they hear the distant boom of the dogfight.

A platoon of harriers from the garrison have hounded out the Iron Heart, and the result is firework: traces of gold that hint at unseen aerobatics. The harriers started it, but they aren’t winning.

They’re overhead for a moment, and most of the prentices cheer even louder. Silhouine’s frozen. Sparks earth themselves around her, and a pattering rain of debris follows; looking down to follow it, she sees a human tooth.

Centesimal

[1] You’ve discovered an ancient book. Read it: 4. Look at the pictures: 8. [2] –crawl on, page over page, convinced that all things die; 3[3] Time contorts, a slippery lemniscate plunging inward to a nonexistent end. Are you travelling? 5. Travelled? 7. [4] Magic spells! Cast “Perfect Foresight:” 9. “Universe of Discourse:” 7. [5] To start over, go to 1. To continue, 2. [6] How did you get here? Goto 8. [7] The book has you in a semantic trap. Struggling, you 2. [8] You are struck dead. Goto 3. [9] Incredible! You see your life unfold at 5.

Notice of Transsubstantiation

Whereas PURCHASER has defaulted on the agreement by one or more of the following means:

  • Failure to remit installment for 60 days
  • Breach of provisions 3:1-3:16 of original contract
  • Bodily assumption into Heaven

TITLE HOLDER will therefore commence to legally sieze property and convert it, by means of standard miracle (see contract article 7), into an asset matching original assessment of profitability, 30 DAYS from posting of notice. PURCHASER has the right to employ a third-party (triune) ARBITRATOR to render final judgment on contract breach, should one return in splendor.

TITLE HOLDER will not be holding TITLE HOLDER’S breath.

Cathay

Cathay’s tried sleeping in the sweaty heat of an orgy aftermath; she traded a favor to spend the night blanketed in a drawer at the morgue. She slept an hour once in a vertical wind tunnel, effectively weightless, the muted roar in her ears like the rushing of blood in the womb.

Like any addict, Cathay maintains that she’s not hurting anyone; yet every addiction has its price. One needs more or better to reach that original high, and soon her pillow is useless to her. Cathay lies awake dreaming of surgery, of submarines, of the bed where Doc Holliday died.

Madame Cruelle

Certain types of people can withstand spectacular amounts of punishment without sustaining any permanent damage, which makes Madam Cruelle’s job easy to the point of boredom.

The little bald man currently paying for her services wears only handcuffs, a hunting cap, and an array of steel-toothed bear traps; she wears the bunny-ear headband on which he insists. His face is soot-blackened and he’s missing teeth. It’s the same thing every week, she reflects, and yet he’s always eager to start again.

“Have you been bad?” she asks, almost disinterested.

Vewy bad,” he gasps, before she drops the anvil.

Silhouine

Silhouine spends the night underneath her little pantry-tucked bed, fearful of dragons, with a cat who alternates between dozing and jerking itself awake to bury startled claws in her back.

In the morning she knocks next door, at Mlle. Sunanza’s, to find that she’s not the only apprentice left to literally mind the shop.

“There are a bunch of us stuck here, owners hied out to the country,” glowers Dulap, over buttered dumplings. “We’re having a bonfire in the square tonight. Want to come?”

“I’d like that,” Silhouine smiles.

They don’t burn the shop down that night. That happens later.