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Shekel

“Dowsers find water,” says Shekel.

“Dowsers find water as often as I draw aces, in a double-blind test,” says Etienne.

Shekel nods calmly. “Because you assume they’re looking for the pipes buried right underground,” he says. “What about aquifers? What about how we live on a sphere?”

“You’re saying the reason dowsers get false positives,” Etienne manages, “is that they feel water on the other side of the earth?”

“All depends on your rod.”

“Jokes aside,” says Etienne, “that would make dowsing practically useless anyway.”

“Ain’t so.”

“Prove it.”

Shekel nods, bends, grips the planet, and turns it toward Saturn’s moons.