And lo, in the time of Zelamek the Chosen Tribes make war upon the Theodites, who are actually just four guys named Theodore.

“Do you think they’ll notice us?” mutters Theodore to Theodore, jogging along.

“Shut up and blend in,” says Theodore.

“AAAAAH,” bellows Theodore, raising his fist with the rest of the Third Sling-and-Rock Battalion as they charge toward victory.

“I hope they don’t burn and salt my garden,” Theodore says.

“I think we’re okay for now,” says Theodore. “This sort of thing must happen a lot.”

“Shit,” says Zelamek, “what do you think happened to the Zelamekians?”